The word Surreal is one that has been going though my mind lately. The dream that is so real that your mind can’t tell it from reality, however there is just something not real about it… You can see color in all its hues, accurate shape and line in all its form, objects that fade into distant atmosphere to proper vanishing points, but something is “off”, something is more than real, the brain struggles to figure out what it is in these lucid dream states that waking moments drift into when we daydream… Decisions allows you to control the universe and bend it to your will, and yet the mind still hasn’t discovered this dream is just that… A dream.
The only fear I have had since the day my wife and I first spoke, the only anxiety I have felt since the day we met, the only time I have been worried about the future since she entered my life… Has been the moments when life became so surreal that I feared I was asleep and dreaming her… The colors shine too brightly, the tastes are too good, the scent of her is too familiar. The touch of her skin too soft, and time slows when we are together as though all the clocks just melted away like a Dali painting, so that time stands still for us. My life with her is surreal, she is perfectly imperfect for me. Although she is real enough that I can touch her, smell her, hear her and tasted her, and admire your form through the vision that she is. She breathes so much new energy into my life that the world becomes more than real… So my brain can’t comprehend this state of awe she triggers for me. I fear I’ll wake from this dream, and return to a world of darkness, a world of dull colors, a world where I am afraid to be me. She showed me how to fly… If I woke back up and found myself in my old life before she existed with my old broken wings, I would never be able survive on the ground.
Perhaps I can find peace from this concern by convincing myself that the true dream was life before we met… The grey, cold, frightening nightmare the universe was for me without her in it… And she somehow woke me from that nightmare and showed me the true world. The love key awakening I had when we first met. Like opening my third eye and discovering this world filled with love and opportunity and oh.. so much beautiful color…
So, if this is “real life” experiencing god’s rejected energy. Then I will embrace every day of it… But if this world is the dream I’ll just become a surrealist and live to paint form into this new dream of color, where you can inspire me… I would rather be insane and in this fantasy, than “normal”… or as my wife puts it on a regular basis… I would rather not be “mortal”. We can paint this world together with hot passion and melt all the clocks in it, until time stands still just for us so that we never need to wake up again.
Time… the only currency… the thing that gives life urgency and meaning. The only tangible thing we own and can use, and spend… Only time… and in this surreal world where time flies… perhaps so should we.
Keep the faith