“let’s do nothing for now and continue debate” says area man Victor Slompkin, as he is slowly being lowered into vat of boiling liquid.
In a very recent debate, Mr. Slompkin isn’t convinced the leather masked figure turning a crank is in fact responsible for his descent into a bubbling pit of red magma.
Victor strongly rejects a recently cited worldwide study where 99% of killing machine architects and manufacturers agreed that in this particular machine it is in fact the crank being turned by the man referred to as “the executioner” that causes this particular mechanism to lower a metal cage into magma. However, victor cites that 1% still disagree, and that’s enough for him.
One robed official wearing an expensive gold pendant pointed out that we shouldn’t just blame the executioner for everything. “it’s a disgusting bias against men with that job, to blame them for deaths, people die all the time, you can’t just go around blaming executioners”.
“Honestly it could be anything causing this gradual lowering” says Victor, as he slowly continues moving in what appears to be a downward direction. From his small cage he pulls out several scientific journals on gravity, and points out to reporters that Newton had a rather naive understanding of the particle physics we now understand today to grasp a more solid understanding of the phenomenon of being lowered in a downward direction… he states “Here in this book, Stephen Hawking clearly states there is no unified fields theory in existence to explain gravity, even today! Therefore we should questions the existence of the direction many of these so-called establishment scientists have come to refer to as… ‘Down’ ” he exclaims while wiggling his arms to free them in order to make room in his small cage to sardonically air-quote with his index and middle fingers emphasizing the word “down”.
“That guy who is getting my house” Mr. Slompkin continues gesturing a trapped shoulder upwards towards the cloaked men standing around the pit, “says it’s not the crank at all! He told me they have no idea why this cage is lowering… he even says that it could be an optical illusion” Victor emphatically continues as he slowly descends to his death… “I mean it’s not like we can blame the crank or the man turning it, if we can’t even decide what down means… Even if the ropes are directly attached to my cage and we can measure how much me being lowered relates to the wheel being turned, everyone in the scientific community understands that strong correlation does not mean causation, regardless of other facts that corroborate a theory. This is still just a theory, and it simply isn’t science to base assumptions on huge amounts of empirical data, and make decisions based on basic theories that, by definition, are not proven fact”.
He then expresses animosity towards the “idiots” who are attempting to save his life by suggesting that the bystanders should consider just stopping the man turning the crank from turning it.
One such idiot explains “we could just go over there and stop the man turning the crank while we consider the possibility that it could somehow be related to him being lowered”
however, the man in the cage responded “These people just don’t understand science, if they did, they would know that several times in history people have been slowly lowered into boiling liquids, and a crank has not always been involved (sometimes no crank is even present!… seriously these guys are idiots)… Euron the red of Pilantia was lowered into boiling liquid with chains attached to a crank” he chuckles “do you SEE any chains here? Nope… just ropes. So the fact that there are only ropes and no chains tied to my cage suggest the crank has nothing to do with it. That’s just basic science anyone with an IQ like mine can grasp, but these idiots don’t get it”
Several of the hooded men who put him in the cage also disagree that the leather clad masked man turning the crank is responsible for the descent of the cage.. one of the men who stands to gain control over area man’s bank account proclaimed “look, the jury is still out on this cage descending hoax… I mean look at it, the cage was up in the air a few minutes ago. How do we know it’s not just some kind of natural cage cycle, and it will come back up before dipping the prisoner in that boiling liquid. I am pretty sure the cage was up in the air yesterday, and the day before. I am just not sold on this man-made descending cage myth”… he continues “look, do you really think we want to kill this man and steal everything he owns just for the money?”
Another of his black robed brothers who already is wearing the doomed man’s expensive shoes added ” I mean we all agree that this heretic non-believer in our magic cult should be in the cage… but we really don’t know why it’s lowering into that pool of red hot liquid. We just put the people in the cage and that’s it. What happens to them while they are in there is anyone’s guess… but we do all unanimously agree that there really just isn’t enough information to decide which factors and mechanisms are the cause of him slowly being lowered… For all we know his own body weight and the natural forces of gravity (which I’m not saying I believe in) are in some way related to the direction he is moving” he paused and then added “or it could even be Chinese magic”
When asked to comment on what the function of the wheel was, the leather clad man turning it at a steady pace declined to answer the question… stating only “look, they pay me to turn it, so I turn it… I wait for the screaming to stop, and then I turn it the other way until it stops. They don’t tell me what it does.” he added “Are you trying to take my job? This is how I feed my family.”
Everyone who we interviewed certainly doesn’t want anyone’s children to starve, so until we can get to the root of this man-made execution myth, we will just have to continue to debate.
TheGrayJedi 