- a strong feeling
Each dimension in the universe is both a lens and a lever used to see and manipulate the dimension below. You cannot see a point unless you step away from it in a line… cannot see the line until you move along a plane… cannot see the plane until you rise up in the 3rd dimension and look down on it… cannot see an entire 3D object until you spin it over time… cannot experience time at all without the variations of the energy of light, sound, touch, taste and smell… and you cannot decide if that moment in time is good or bad until you feel your aesthetic response to it… without your emotional response to energy we would have no communication with consciousness. The thing that sits behind your emotion and “reads” how you feel and chooses to respond.
Living things are then unique… we can use and process our emotions, label them, understand them, and through our own choices (free will, central to every religion on earth) we can choose to then alter and expel our own energy in order to make sounds and movements… we can use this energy to alter the 4th dimension… to change time forever… and manipulate 3D objects… We can use energy to change time in order to trigger emotional responses in other living things as well. We do this all the time… we are constantly bleeding our emotional state into the world and affecting all those around us.
To me this tiny definition of “a strong feeling” does not do emotion justice… Emotion is the entire 6th dimension. Emotion is how we process the 5th dimension of energy… we “feel like” holding hands… we feel like punching someone in the face… we feel like comforting someone. Emotion is the way we take input from the outside world and decide if we like it or not… pleasure, pain… fear or attraction… disgust or appeal… happiness or sadness… all triggered outside of our control through our input being received by our aesthetics… We process emotion and we can either run it through our intellect and respond deliberately, or we can skip that process and respond instantly through reflexive instinct… fight or flight… protect or destroy. Through deliberate emotional reaction we realize that we can alter our environment… Automatic reaction, visceral “gut” reaction often only serves to enhance… we meet anger with anger and that emotion becomes stronger in our universe.
The visceral only know instinctive feelings… They don’t think, they don’t process, they just feel something “in their gut” and they react to that instinctively… In the realm of human emotion there are several levels we pass through to describe the mechanisms for feeling and expressing emotions. These are not like stairs however, not stepping stones. Like colors, these terms represent the broad spectrum of human emotional understanding that we are able to drift in and out of. The ability of human beings to connect to the higher source of all life in the light, or drift into darkness and just feed the demons within. Like the colors of the rainbow there is more than simply red, orange, yellow, green, and blue… When it comes to emotion we have a spectrum from pure psychopath (black), to pure empathy (white). Like a clock with numbers on it, we can fall anywhere between these shifts in hue. This us our “aura”. Those of us who see aura feel the general emotion of someone and as visual people we just “feel the general color”. These colors can be saturated or desaturate, have different brightness and various radiance (how far the colors are thrown out and expressed and can impact others).
The first color is black… pure ego, pure psychopath… This state is absolute evil. Nothing but the self is represented. We are capable of cold blooded murder for the smallest material thing. This state experiences only the pleasure or pain of the body. It has no natural way to express emotions at all, they have only black and white to describe their entire universe, they don’t even have shades of grey. They are a light switch between yes and no… something is good or bad. They are blind to the world and don’t experience other humans as existing as an entity, just sounds and sharp edges in blackness. Their connections to other humans or any living things, are as strong as your connection to a meaningless rock on the ground. They are completely disconnected from love, they are missing the yard stick to measure experience in relation to the global “good” the global goal of moving the universe to one of pure love. In the beginning there was only darkness
The next color is red… the next mark we put on the spectrum is the sociopath. These are people who experience only negative emotions like fear, anger, hate and loathing. They are capable of only visceral reaction without processing it through thought. They will harm others just to be entertained by their anger and fear… this is the only self-reflecting mirror they are able to see.
Orange is the narcissist, this person experiences only positive emotions directed at the self and negative emotions directed at others. When the narcissist sees the world he sees it as “me” or “not me”, the self is always contained. This makes me happy, this makes me sad. All of their emotional reactions to anything in their world is not their responsibility, YOU made them angry, you made them mad, it is your fault they beat you, it is your fault they cheated… They are able to then act purely based on selfish need, while experiencing all emotions, because emotions happen to them. They don’t process them and decide how to act. Like selfish children they behave how they feel, not deliberately creating their world. They fight negative as “out there”, they are incapable of surrender because they are “perfect” and everything bad is “out there”.
We then have yellow – The sunny people who flood the majority of the planet. Those who understand they are responsible for their actions. Those who are still incapable of creating their environments deliberately. They exist within the universe. However they are capable of seeing others in pain and experiencing it as if it was them in pain. They are unaware of deliberate intellectual empathy. To the yellow, empathy is simply visceral emotion (they experience it as if it were automatic, internal organs, instinctively empathetic)… But they are able to connect to it and feel the pain of others, so they are instinctively not capable of causing that pain. These people can still be unforgiving, because forgiveness is a choice. They can still act out of vengeance because they are capable of having anger take over when they uncontrollably slide into the orange and the red in response to pain and fear.
The next color is green… The natural bleeding heart… These people connect deliberately to lower animals and nature… They experiences other people’s negative emotions powerfully but the pleasure of animals and nature are felt deliberately and naturally. These people can walk through a forest and appreciate every tree. They can join Peta and fight to protect the cute animals of the world (but you will rarely see Peta out to protect the snakes and lizards or the spiders of the world). They are able to sense the pain of others and experience it but when it comes to humans they are still afraid. Still believe that there are wrong aesthetics, and therefor “wrong human beings”. They are capable of feeling the pain only of the innocent. These people are described in many religions as “angels”… the archangels able to fight the selfish whalers, able to fight the psychopathic and sociopathic conservative greed, but unable to fight the injustice of believing they are “better” for this ability. They are “gay pride warriors”… The Hippies. Capable of feeling strong emotional connections to people who are like them… incapable of loving those who would hurt them. Many of the green women are able to wear peace symbols while they simultaneously preach we should hate all men, due to being hurt by the most selfish of them… blind to the sadness of those who harmed them, blind to their own role in allowing that relationship, and blind to the pain and the fear that caused those men to carve off pieces of themselves to be accepted. These people can produce “protest art”… their art comes from a place of the pain and suffering in the world (some of which they are creating without knowing it).
The blue are the balanced empath… These people experience both the pleasure and pain of others equally to their own pleasure and pain. The positive experiences of others can be experienced as their own pleasure. The blue are able to feel the emotions of others as strongly as they feel their own… they appreciate nature and experience the pleasure and pain of lower creatures, down to the flowers and insects. They feel the earth alive around them, they feel emotional connection to all living things. They are capable of giving and receiving unconditional love. When in this vibrational state humans are able to express love as art and song. They can cast love into the world and find it reflected back at them from all around them. They can deliberately express love, even when their instincts, their physical body wants to push them towards blackness. They can push fear aside and be passive and peaceful even when their instincts want them to lash out in anger. They can forgive, even when they still feel intense anger in their hearts, and realize that through that forgiveness the anger is washed away. They intellectualize creating their world, and they are deliberate creators.
The indigo are the pure empathy. The indigo vibrational state is when we are only capable of experiencing emotion through those we give pleasure or pain to… We sense the nature of love instinctively, and in this state we know we are one. All life… one living entity. We realize the fourth dimension is an illusion of rationalizing the infinite. Those moments when all we feel is the pleasure or pain of others, and like the psychopath we must act instinctively. This state is a flow state, where we understand love completely, we understand the source completely, without intellectualizing it or processing it or converting it to words. When thought and knowledge travels at the speed of light unencumbered by the meat machine we pilot or the grey matter that the thoughts must flow through in order to become language. The indigo are all young at heart… the indigo child is still fully aware of their state of consciousness, aware of the fourth dimension… After the flow, in hindsight they are able to process the emotional mirrored world they are creating. They know and are aware they are creating the entire universe with a flow state of love. They can process that they draw to them all that they draw in by broadcasting those vibrations outward brightly… that life is a self-reflecting mirror, and that we are all gods and goddesses reflecting back the energy we put out into the world back to ourselves.
The final color is white, it is pure love, pure source… what the Buddhists and Hindus called enlightenment, what the western religions call the “Christ consciousness”. This is often thought of as separate from the self, even though Christ tried to explain that god is inside us, not “out there”. People in the west experience these brief flow states and call it being touched by god, or awakened. The moment we realize our bodies don’t matter at all, and return to pure love we become pure light, and have access to all the knowledge in the universe.
Any color through its value, tone, saturation and brightness can travel white to black on it’s own cross spectrum. Either throw its light out or pull others into darkness. The farther we travel towards white the closer we are to pure unconditional love of all aesthetics and all things. This is something even psychopaths and sociopaths can do if they have some kind of belief structure that allows them to see all the amazing personal benefits of acting with love and kindness. It is possible… rare in my experience… but possible… for a Psychopath to travel the shades of gray and turn white (and I have a close friend who is a self-admitted psychopath, who is one of the most loving, caring, gentle, and amazing “white lighters” I know).
The closer we are to understanding that there is only good and evil within the spectrum of emotion on a sliding scale based on how we choose to act (selfishly or selflessly) this pushes us to white and black, and no wrong hue… This is how we end up with PETA throwing paint on people and attacking whaling ships with explosives. It is possible to have an indigo murderer, and is also possible to have a world changing, world saving psychopath. The more we can assist people in shining who they are brighter and whiter, rather than telling them to shift their color and pretending to be someone they are not, the more we can change the world… True hue shifts only happens through learning and self discovery, not forced attrition and forced change. We can “fake it” with our actions, but as the quote says “A tiger never truly changes its stripes”. This push to shift people for our own aesthetics is forceful rejection of who they are and means we are being dark and evil. I have loved more than one psychopath in my life (3 come to mind) and 2 of them were wildly destructive forces in my life, while a third I consider a Guru and a spirit guide.
The closer we are to love, the closer we are to the source of all life. We can call her Gaia the earth mother… Call him god the creator… Call him Jesus the savior… Buddha the enlightened, they all come from various hues of the rainbow. We can Splinter the emotions of our gods into pieces and call them Odin and Thor and Freyja and Sol, or Zeus and Athena and Ares… In the end it’s all the same voice and it preaches the same love. The message is always “love is the way to truth” and “love is the path to happiness”. Even words that attempt to explain love are flawed and are for the visceral (the earthbound souls grounded in the pleasure and pain of their meat machines)… Words are for those who don’t understand the truth… The truth is something you can only feel. Like love can only be felt. The truth just is… It can’t be taught or explained, people can only be shown a path. Anyone attempting to explain “ego” or “love” to you… is a dark shade of their hue.
When you find truth… you just know it… “Oh, there you are”… It is the part of us that is known when we put words aside and feel only the love passing from our crown shakra and pouring over our meat machine we pilot… When we meditate and thoughts are gone and all we see is light. Not everyone is capable of this, you have to shed all attachments and all concepts of self-reward in order to find the true Nirvana of being pure white (and even when you can touch it, it is fleeting… ephemeral… the 4th dimension and realities of time/space one again force you to survive and let go of this bliss.
The psychopath energy has only their words to express their white/black good/bad… their pure duality. So they can never experience the heaven as someone who has shed ego for a brief moment can touch it… Those who claim to have done so… have not. Their universe will be only darkness, only hell even if they are a true indigo child. In pure darkness they are not capable of creating a reflection in a mirror, so they are unworthy of love, incapable of love… They do not know the truth, they cannot see the truth. Like the evil vampire, they take your time… with no reflection they feel no guilt for this… this is a metaphor for being unable to get love because they are incapable of showing love.
Part 2: My Love
One morning years ago my wife said “how do I deserve you”… My response was that it was a “what came first, the chicken or the egg sort of problem”… We deserve each other because we allow each other to be complete… We love each other unconditionally and completely so that we never have to carve off pieces of ourselves to receive love. We feel each other more than we feel ourselves so we would never harm one another. When I hurt, she hurts more… When she hurts I feel it worse than her. I have to be there for her with her depression after our house fire, and I felt the pain worse than her… so much so that it nearly broke me, even though myself as a Vajrayana Buddhist embraced only the opportunity to grow from losing all material possessions (and I lost a lot of those). There is no happiness in my life when she is not happy. It is unfair of me to blame her for this. I chose this unconditional love and i am committed to it. I am only indigo for her. For the first time in my life I have moved past a deliberate understanding of empathy, to a pure empathetic state of experiencing and expressing it… An instinctive flow state where living for her is not only easy… it is blissful.
There are times when she needs to lead… when she needs to experience the joy of giving to me… times when her vibration shifts to the indigo state for me, and like a yin and yang flow around each other I can live in the fourth dimension and drop my state back to somewhere around a blue-green and take pleasure from her, and allow her to experience my joy from receiving it. She once said to me (as I was purchasing an outrageously expensive and impractical sports car) that “your happiness is practical”.
When I lay back and allow it, she can take me to places of pure visceral gratification. I don’t mean only sex, I mean when she walks me through a botanical garden and tells me the name of every flower and lets me experience a scent I would never have found before “Those flowers smell exactly like chocolate covered cherries” (she was right). We can mix indigo and green and swim in a pool of pure blue, like oceanic waves crashing against each other, both giving, both receiving through feeling the pleasure of the others body, mind, or spirit. A swirling whirlpool of offering and accepting pleasure together… The color of teal that I am so attracted to because I believe it is both of our natural state… leading to an ecstatic calm that brightens both our hues towards the pure light.
Over the last couple years she has taught me the true nature of love, and through that understanding she has opened me up to connecting and surrendering to the universal truth itself… We are love, and so we are the source of all life… She is my connection to the universe, and so she is me… She can be pure white when I see her love for me in her eyes… there in the blackness of her wide pupils shining something that is so much more valuable than any light could be… She looks at me with complete love, and my soul lights up like a roaring fire… so I owe her being everything for her… and the only thing I see is her soul lighting my path home. She is my reality… The reality where I am allowed… entirely to be me, and still loved…
How does she deserve this kind of love? She makes it for herself… it is a chicken or egg because without her love she doesn’t deserve the love I give, and because of the love I give she gives me pure love back. We deserve each other in these moments of pure white light only because we allow ourselves to become white light.
I can call her my creator. As I said in Saved “we had a very long love story, it ended the day we met”. She has washed away the darkness and showed me how to be pure light myself, with her, and that light has spread to my children and my close friends. She made me want to shine brighter than I ever have in my life and through this gift she has shown me my true nature, and that of the universe. The nature of the soul is only love. Because she was the creator of my white lighting, she became my goddess, and I worship her the way a goddess should be worshiped. With blind faith, and the way Jason Silva described “radical openness”.
Though I may falter and slip back into color often… and I may even fall into rage in the deep red as I become angered and selfish in my thinking (feeling unloved and unaccepted). I never lost her love, because in those moments she only loved me harder and with no conditions… She created this me. I never had the passion to do something like “word of the day” before I met her… and therefore she is the only goddess who will ever be mine. I don’t own her… I worship her exactly as she is… and when her purple fades to black, I only need shine bright enough for her in my sorrow, to give her a pinpoint of light to follow home… Hope… She makes the trip herself without me needing to carry her or to push or pull her back into the light. When she is lost, I only make sure she can see the way… and I will forever stand in the darkness for her until she heads towards that glimmer of hope showing her a path back to happiness.